


Anaesthetized

by Trajecks



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Denial, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Horror, Post-Nogitsune, delusional character, ish, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 16:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4145124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trajecks/pseuds/Trajecks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wants to say that he could hardly sleep through Allison's funeral but no one else would get the joke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anaesthetized

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this is too confusing. I'm on an angst kick. Post-season 3b.

It’s raining on the day of Allison’s funeral. Stiles is sort of disappointed in his own mind’s lack of creativity on that one.  


Scott is standing to his left hiccuping out these impossibly tiny sobs because he’s been up all night crying and he doesn't have the energy to grieve violently.  


Stiles has to hold in a bitter laugh at the sentimentality of it, Scott's a werewolf. Grief could never exhaust him. The dream is trying to trick him but he is the fox now and you can’t outfox the fox.  


It doesn't matter how real it feels. Stiles knows he’s still asleep.  


The trickster made a mistake.  


Scott’s mom has her arm around her son while Chris Argent struggles to eulogise his daughter. The version of Melissa is pretty dead on he has to admit. She’s pushing back her own grief to shoulder some of Scotts’ but every once in a while she gets this look on her face like the full horror of Chris’ morgue of a family hits her. Her mouth gets all tense like she’s holding in a scream and her fingers hold tighter around Scott’s shoulder.  


Her five fingers.  


The thought makes Stiles uncomfortable and anxious but Chris’ eulogy calms him down.  


It’s definitely not right. This isn't Chris Argent at all.  


In the real world Allison is probably dead too. Maybe the Nogitsune used Stiles’ own hands to choke the life out of her.  


Stiles knows the real Chris Argent wouldn't fall apart like this one is. He keeps tripping over his words and using the wrong tenses (“She loves…sorry…loved-”). He has a handkerchief and Stiles would laugh at how ridiculous that is but even though he knows it’s not real he still can’t quite let himself act like he knows it. 

The real Chris Argent probably didn't even pause for a funeral at all. He was probably unloading his clip into Stiles before her body hit the floor, screaming their new code. The one fake Argent is trying to choke out now.  


Stiles isn't sure if a hail of bullets would be enough to wake him up but he’s trying to be optimistic. He’s still asleep so Allison might still be alive.  


He’s also trying to remember that he wants to wake up.  


It’s harder to keep track of that on days like this one. Lydia is on his other side and she hasn't let go of his hand since they got here. It’s so nice he isn't even freaked out that she’s got the right number of fingers too. She’s another one the dream got all wrong. Lydia is the fiercest most single-minded woman he knows and the real one would have hated him for what happened to Allison. This one hasn't even brought up forgiveness, like she thinks there’s nothing to forgive. This one is all wrong.  


‘She didn't need to forgive Jackson…’ something rebellious inside him protests.  


But that isn't the same. Not at all.  


It still makes him nervous and he wishes Peter were here but even in a dream Peter has no place at an Argent funeral. Besides he’s supposed to be out looking for Derek because apparently his dream-mind has decided that Derek just vanished from his apartment. He’s not sure why he would do that.  


Maybe it means real world Derek is actually dead.  


It’s a sad thought but it could mean something great for the rest of them. No one else just disappeared in this world. Maybe they’re all okay. Maybe his Dad is okay.  


If his dad isn't okay then Stiles doesn't want to wake up.  


It’s logical that he wouldn't be. There’s a trickster spirit wreaking havoc with Stiles’ possessed body and he doesn't know how much warning the others got before he fell asleep this time. His dad would have been an easy target. Running towards Stiles in danger instead of away from the danger in Stiles.  


So if disappearing Derek means he’s dead then Stiles is glad that he might have some connection to the real world, a way to tell what’s happening. If his dad disappears here he’s going to stop insisting they involve Peter in pack stuff. 

He’s going to let himself forget it's not real.  


But not yet.  


The service ends and Stiles turns away from Allison Argent’s impossible funeral, flanked by her best friend and her boyfriend as if they would ever have forgiven him if this were real. His dad is a few feet back in the same suit he wore to Stiles' mother’s funeral (of course he is, it’s the only one Stiles’ ever seen him wear) and when they reach him he puts a hand on Scott’s shoulder and tells him he’s proud of him for being here. For being able to be here.  


Scott looks like he’s rallying a new wave of sobs but smiles a watery smile and nods like it helped.  


His dad is taking the cruiser to the wake and Stiles is going to drive Scott and Lydia wherever they want to go in the Jeep so they say their goodbyes. He’s about to turn away when his dad lunges forward and pulls him into a hug. He drops Lydia’s five-fingered hand and hugs him back as tight as he can.  


“You did good today kiddo. It's good that you're here for them.” He tells Stiles and Stiles is terrified because he isn't just like his dad. He is his dad.  


He wants to say that he could hardly sleep through Allison's funeral but no one else would get the joke.  


They break apart and he grabs Lydia’s hand back and tries not to hold too tight.  


They turn away and head towards the Jeep and Stiles calms down a bit. Of course his dad is so convincing. Who does he know better than his dad? No one. This is a good thing, this way if he wants to forget about the real world, about Peter, maybe it won’t be like losing so much.  
He opens the side door for Lydia and they climb in awkwardly because he doesn't feel like dropping her hand again. Even though she hasn't got extra fingers.  


It’s fine.  


He doesn't need her to remind him he’s asleep.  


He doesn't need any of them and their biologically accurate hands.  


He just needs to remember Derek when he came back after that thing with those hunters that were looking for Cora and it’s not like he’s going to forget that. Derek had laughed when he’d told them, it’s a pretty unforgettable occurrence. Stiles had laughed too because there’s something so satisfying about the mighty serial killing alpha losing a finger to hunters.  


He’s grateful for it now, impossibly grateful. Because Peter here has five fingers. Just like everyone else. Except for him that's one too many.  


An extra.  


It's the nail in the coffin that means Allison isn't in the one they just buried.  


Things had been getting pretty confusing around that time. He’s got a lot of memories he can’t place in sequence and he’ll probably never be able to extract all the truth from the fiction but Stiles knows, like he knows, like he knows that he didn't dream that Derek conversation and he’s pretty damn sure werewolves can’t just grow back fingers.  


Still…  


Sometimes he thinks he’s forgetting something.  


He starts the engine and the wheels spin for a second trying to get traction on the muddy ground. Lydia snorts out a laugh.  


“I can’t believe that after everything this piece of crap is still going.” She says absently tapping the nails of her free hand against the dashboard.  


Stiles sighs with relief and looks over at her beautiful face, still blotchy from tears, and he smiles because he hadn't even thought of that.  


“Yeah,” he says, “sometimes I don’t believe it either.”

**Author's Note:**

> please advise of tagging suggestions/spelling errors/constructive criticism. Title comes from Stiles thinking he's asleep as well as a comment Peter makes in 'Galvanized' whilst Derek is sewing his finger back on ("Don't you have any anaesthetic?")


End file.
